This week marks a real end of an era for Matt and I, and a great big step into the unknown. It is Matt’s last week with XLP, the charity we met at when I did a gap year, and where Matt has been working for the past 4 years. We felt that taking this step away from XLP was the right thing to do, and we really felt that God was calling Matt into something more creative, something that puts his photography and design skills into action. For me, this time marks the end of university and the time to start really looking at and pursuing my future.
When we made these decisions around Christmas time it was really exciting. Matt has been going through the selection process for ordination but is too late to start training this September, instead it will be next September, which is why we find ourselves in this situation. I like change and the idea of having the world as our oyster really drew me in. As a bit of a dreamer, the thought of having an absolutely free year really excited me. We feel we are called to build community in East London but we both love travelling and so that was one of my dreams for this year, if not that then no longer working weekends was pretty exciting too! But months later and we are looking at our last pay check and the rent thats due after that. We were so blessed with this flat we live in, but if we don’t have jobs we can’t keep it. If we cant keep it then maybe we would need to move in with friends, or leave London and stay with parents. There are so many maybes and often Matt and I feel waves of anxiety breaking over us. Sometimes there is tension, if nothing changes do we stay here and invest or go and travel or find jobs in another part of the world for a year? Do I just get a minimum wage job for now? Should we ignore what we felt God saying about a creative job and for safety take up one of the many youth worker positions Matt has been offered?
I would love to do something involving people, crafts, blogging and weddings. That would be my dream job but it’s so unformed and feels too good to be real. We have started doing a little bit of wedding photography, I really LOVE that and hope it grows.
We have been praying everyday that God would show us what the next steps are, that he would reveal the right doors and close the wrong doors. That we would see his provision, and keep trusting his promises even when we feel silly for doing so. For me it feels like my heart is excited, it knows there are good things coming but my eyes just see the physical world, and they relay to me that we are being stupid and naive. But I know that’s not the case, I know that God is great, he is GOOD, that his love endures and that his promises are true!
We have been praying that by the 19th of July we would see some of this provision, that some part of his plan would be revealed to us. That is now only 5 days away. It feels pretty scary!
I would love it if you would pray for and with us, that we would feel confident in these next steps and in what we feel called to. That our eyes, ears and hearts would be open to where God is leading us for this next part of our lives. If you have already been praying this through with us, thank you so much for your love and support.
Someone sent me this quote on Sunday, I love it:
'When you need a door of opportunity to open and you can’t see a way, don’t give up because God can make a way! He knows how to get you to the right place at the right time. He has the right people and the right connections, and He is always working behind the scenes for your good!'